Firefighters have died before in the line of duty and it sucks. Me,
Little Miss Proper Who Doesn't Cuss just wants to drop the F-bomb all
over the place. A word doesn't really exist to explain the horror that
comes from a man giving his life to keep others safe. This time
though, it has hit too close to home. Arnie
was a friend of Randy's. His career followed a similar path to
Randy's. He was married to a sweet school teacher who is pregnant with
their first baby.
I feel funny writing about this, because I know there is no way to properly explain the gravity of such an event. My sadness comes in waves and each time it hits me I know that it is only a billionth of what those firemen's families are feeling. I especially identify with the wives, who don't get to hug their husbands the way I did this morning when he came home.
This also puts a new prospecitve on Randy's job for me. He's been hurt on the job before, but never anything life-threatening. I've always had a shield put up, always believed that Randy can't get hurt, that it just wasn't possible. Because for me, he can't. I don't think I could function without him.
Before when Randy would go to work, I'd say goodbye with a kiss & send him on his way. Now, the danger has become real. When he leaves I can feel my chest tighten and when he comes home, I can finally relax. He reminds me that, "life is short, we could all go tomorrow," but must we tempt fate? I guess the moral of the story is to cherish every second and squeeze your loves a little tighter. We don't know how lucky we are to have them. xoxo